07 April 2003 23:14
writen 2 March 2001entitled, "Dark"
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once i wrote a friend a letter.
i entitled it, mostly for fun.
"have you ever seen a night so dark?"
the letter inside, had nothing to do
with nights or darkness.
meaningless, with no connection.
why did i do that?
what was my purpose in not having one?
so i think, and i ask myself,
have i ever seen a night so dark?
it is dark outside, surely.
but it is dark inside as well.
wouldn't the night be darker,
if it were lighter in here?
the contrast would be stark,
and the eye could fancy well,
that it had never seen a night so dark.
one wonders, perhaps a dark night,
perhaps a dark night is good.
kuz that means it is light in here.
but when it is light inside,
you can't see the darkness.
sitting in a chair, staring out the window.
have i ever seen a night so dark?
dark inside, eyes adjusted.
i stare unseeingly, vacantly.
darkness permeates, i can feel it.
softly, i sigh, breathing darkness.
i realize, i have never, never
seen a night so dark.
because, there is no inside, no,
i can't be inside, i am outsidde, looking in.
there is light in there, behind the curtain,
but out here, there is naught.
and i have never seen a night so dark.
what do i do? where do i turn?
shall i turn away, into the darkness?
i often stumble, but here i am,
this is what i know, what i am.
i once heard, heard it said.
"knock on the door my friend,
"knock and i will bring you in."
who said that? who called me friend?
i cannot remember, it was long ago.
long ago in another place, far
far. i am lost, i am alone.
this place is not home to me, i cannot enter
longingly i stare, the light hid behind,
covered by the curtains, none escaping.
no, i have never seen a night so dark.
i wrote a letter once, to a friend.
i asked, have you ever seena night so dark?
i did not explain, merely asked.
they did not respond.
they are not here, i knew them long ago.
i turn and leave, there is not a door here,
nowhere to knock, so i leave.
i have never seen a night so dark.
i have never seen a night so dark.
i will try, i will look, maybe...
if i close my eyes, so i cannot see.
so i cannot see the dark, eyes closed.
i can imagine, no, i can feel,
a hand holding mine.
there is someone in control,
someone leading me, onward.
and i know, they are leading me home,
home, to a place of light,
to where i can knock, and once again,
the voice says, "come in my friend."
i will sit inside, in the light. the curtains,
they are closed, i cannot see out.
i will not see the night so dark.
i will never say, never ask, never wonder.
have i ever seen a night so dark?
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