07 December 2003 21:05
(continued from below) God gives to some more than he gives to others. i have been given a lot. is it my job to balance the imbalance? abraham, even after he gave melchizedek 10%, he still had 46.8 million sheep, and knowing what sheep do in the spring, a year later he was back to 52 million. some how i have a knawing suspicion of doubt that he didn't give as much as he was able.so i can give as much as i am able, or as some of the macedonian's did, i can give more than i am able (v3). i have heard stories told of christians who gave and gave. now they're trying to work them selves out of a huge debt. right now i have money sitting in my checking account that i'm not using. i'm not scraping the bottom of the barrel by anymeans. to tell the truth, it's odd. after four years of college, it's wierd to have money in the bank. i don't know quite what to do with it. i have options. one, i could pour it into my school loans. i'm already paying double the required amount, i could pay quadruple without too much trouble at the moment. i could give all my surplus cash a way. truthfully, although i haven't run the numbers, i think i could get by on 50% of my current income. it would be tight, esp living in california, but doable. i could give 50% instead of 10. i know i could easily get by giving 20% instead of 10. so why don't i?
you know, i started on a tangent about five paragraphs back and didn't quite say what i meant to say. not that it has too much relavence (ie, it's not worth the effort of goign back and editing it in), but it's on my list of things to say, and since this weblog is a spot for me to say the things i haven't said anywhere else, i'm goign to say it. now that i've written that, i could have gone back and edited it in by now.
let's assume that the spirit of the biblical command is to "give back to the Lord a portion of what he has given you." until somebody words it better, that's what i believe. i am nothing. i have nothing. everything you think i have was given me by God. without him i have nothing. (1tim6.7 is a start). so the essence of the biblical command is that we are to give a portion of what we have recieved back to the Lord. a tenth seems to be one suggestion, as we are able another. as we are able seems to me to be the one we should lean towards. why? well, it's harder, therefore it must be the christian thing to do >). it is harder. i shy away from choosing that one becuase i would then condemn myself guilty. i give ten percent readily enough, but as much as i am able? that would take away any safety net i might have. oh. did i say that out loud? no, i trust in the Lord, i do. but i still need my safety net, right?
how much do we give? i fear that once we agree to giving back a portion, the "how much" exactly falls to individual interpretation. so be it. like so so many things christian, we must strike a balance. i hate it when we have to do that, but if we didn't, it'd be useless to have a free will. responsibility is tough. i think the Holy Spirit just told me to suck it up and live with it. so do we take 10% before or after taxes? no fair you cry! a blow below the belt. ha! tough luck, you know there are no rules of fair play in christianity, just visit any denominational committee meeting. but i digress in a negative manner. example. let's say i make a hundred bucks. ahem. well, the gov't takes off with $25. then giving 10% to God, I have $67.50 to spend on rent and trinkets for the girlfriend. but if i give to God before taxes, I give him $10 instead of $7.50, the gov't still takes off with $25, and I'm left with only $65.00. that means i can't buy my girlfriend that trinket she really wanted, so she dumps me. see, this is God looking out for me. i really wouldn't've wanted to marry a girl that would dump me over $2.50 anyway.
okay, back to safety nets. i can give away anything i don't spend on rent, that's cool. BUT. back in september i was about to put down a large payment on my school loans. my mom advised me strongly to not do it. while it's good to get rid of debt ahead of tiem (less interest), it is also easier to stay out of debt if you have money to cover "sudden expenses". and believe me, "sudden expenses" will show up whether you have a money to cover them or not. and it's also true, that if you try and save money, you will always find some drastic need to spend it on. if you don't save, somehow you manage to squeak by, often without needing the money or as much of it afterall. a safety net eh? so what about savings? doesn't God want us to plan for the futre? isn't it irresponsible to give to the limit, since it leaves us open to sudden expenses? i know i'm going to have an insurance payment in febuary. i know i'm going to have a rent payment each month. i can plan for those. i can put a bit aside for car troubles. if the car has trouble, then i'll save up that ammount again, before going back to giving what's left over. so i think ahead, concieve of all the likely expenses that might happen, and save for them. once i have the desired amount, i go and give away everything left over, right? so now i have what, let's say $1500 lying around for various and sundry possible needs. i'm giving away half my paycheck and even living a fairly comfortable life.
i definately don't believe God want's us to live spartan lifestyles. again there is a balance, again it is based on personal interpretation. i favor simplicity. Jesus had the clothes on his back, and he walked around and taught. fairly simple. Paul had the clothes on his back, and a rather large purse. but the purse was for the Jerusalem church, not for him. when he needed money, he made tents. if people offered him money, he refused it, becuase God had blessed him with the ability to support himself, instead he directed the money towards hwere it was needed more. the early communal church shared readily with everyone.
what is your focus? i can focus on improving my life. i can focus on improving the standard of living for those around me, the poor and needy. some however, are driven to share the gospel, it consumes their life. they focus on the health of the kingdom of God, and ignore their own, some to the point of doing themselves in early from overworking. but we shouldn't let the message of good news consume our lives, should we? after all, which is more important, our comfort, or God's kingdom?
i do not deny my hypocritcal nature, the difference between what i believe (with fervor when i get worked up about it like i'm about to), and what i do. i live a comfortable middle class american lifestyle, rarely if ever talking to anybody about my beliefs, or living according to my more radical viewpoints.
we are in a race.
i had friends in school who told me to calm down, to not be so radical. in essence, they told me that things weren't as black and white as i was trying to make them out to be. but they are wrong. we christians are dealing with a life and death matter. if we don't reach the world, the world will die. forever. eternal damnation isn't like falling asleep and never waking up, it's hell. you don't get used to it. and it royally sucks. we (christians) have the knowledge to keep people from hell. and here i sit on my tush in a library tiptapping on my laptop. there are two dozen people around me, guesses are they're most headed for hell. i won't see them in heaven. i could stand up right now and tell them the gospel. the good news. it's NEWS. something new, something people don't know. and you know what is most condemming of me? it's news. how hard is it for a newspaper to tell the news? how hard is it for gossip to spread? it's information -- that's all. information. ironically, i'm in a library, all i have to do is share the information. period end of sentence. then i'ts up to them. they can choose yea or nea. then i can provide discipleship or direct them to someone who can.. there is no fear in that, they're fellow christiansnow. even if they scoff at me, who cares? i'll never see them again if i just get up and leave now.
we are in a race against death. who controls that? God. yeah it's ironic, but that doesn't negate the fact that we're in a race. spread the news. this is hot news too, the early christains spread it like wildfire. things are black and white. rev3.16. i am reminded of this often. zippy has had a quote from me on her im profile for half a year now. since she's fond of having good quotes as away messages, i check them often.. everytime i do i see my quote, pulled from rev3.16 .. feb 10th or 11th "there absolutely cannot be one iota of compromise within our witness. if we are not for Christ, we are against Christ, there is no middle ground. if we are 99.9% for Christ, then we are 100% for the devil." i have that verse posted above my bed. i wish it would have more effect on me than it does.
God's will is to be the focus of our life. that's why i like the C&MA churches.. their focus is on the great commission. yes they disciple their own, they support the internal growth of hte church, but the main objective is reaching the world. In focusing on that objective, other less critical arguments fall to the wayside. likewise, if i focus on reaching mankind, my indecision about whether to buy a new mouse falls to the wayside. would it help me in reaching the lost? good, i'll buy it. it won't help? forget it, i'll spend the money on something that will. i must remember that it's God's $40 in the first place, what does he want me to spend it on?
If i were to fully follow this lifestyle, i wouldn't have bought those classical cd's that i did last week. i bought them because i like classical music, it's nice to listen to in the evenings, and i bought them becuase i had the money to buy them... they improve my standard of living. you know, it is nice to have the things i want. ..things above what i need. too many of them are a trap, too few of them make life drab. it is certaintly true that christains with the least material possesions are often more joyful than those of us with more. it is one of the strongest arguments in favor of simplicity that i know. i bought those cd's on the spur of them moment. i bought them for my personal enjoyment. in writing this i've realized that they really have nothing to do iwth the kingdom of God specifically, that they have no specific value in furthering the gospel. but i'm going to keep them anyway, on the condition that i remain willing to share them. i won't listen to any one of them more than once every two weeks anyway, so why not let somebody else enjoy their music the remainder of the time? if that person is not christain, so much the better for the oppurtunities it presents.
so back to me giving away half my paycheck. yup. sounds like a good idea. i'm going to take action there too. first by constructing a budget... another thing mom would be aghast to find out i haven't done. currently i'm living in "i know i have more than enough to cover expenses" mode. but that means money is just accumulating in my account and not being put to any use. what's the point in having it if you don't use it? even if you use it as a safety net. hmm. i'm not fond at all of the idea of giving until i don't have enough to meet the next payment. having a little padding, enough to cover a car breakdown, or a broken arm... i would argue that God sees that as a prudent decision as we are good stewards of what he has given us. if i discover somebody in need, who needs the $300 i was saving incase my car dies, i'll give it to them, and trust God to provide as a wait for that fund to build back up. next may i want to go to albania. i know that's going to cost roughly $2500-$3000, so i'm saving towards that end. If God tells me to use it somewhere else, or the albania plans fall through.. then so be it. it was God's in the first place, and i am privelaged to make use of it. the parable of the talents though, can be somewhat troubling.
see, i'm writing hebrew style, themed A B C C' B' A'... ther'es structure to this whole "thing" after all.
abraham tithed once of his entire possessions. many people tithe on their income, which covers things fairly efficiently. i believe that we should tithe reguarly, and i'm wondering if perhaps we should tithe on EVERYTHING. and i mean everything. material possessions, physical gifts, spiritual gifts (duh), all blessings, our time. let's not get technical here.. we came into the world with nothing, even our bodies were made by God. he made our free-will, so you could argue that that's not ours either. so by not being technical here, that means just give a portion back. i'm good at _____ so i'll devote part of that to the Lord. let's get technical here (sorry :) ): time, God mandates the seventh day of rest. so instead of 10%, he's supposed to get 14.3% of our time.. but do the 8 hrs of sleep count? realisticly, most peopole sleep in on sunday, so make it nine, now we're down to 15 hours... now we're down to 8.9%. if you really want to get realistic, God is very very lucky if he gets my full attention for two hours at church. cut out the announcements at the end and the refreshments in the middle and he's got an hour and a half.. oh about .9% of my time. back to non-technical. tis christmas season tis it not? the little drummer boy, he had no gifts, but he gave Jesus a song. i'm more than willing to fly for the Lord, missionary aviation sounds like a lot of fun. but blessings? God has blessed me with a strong Christain upbringing. i can pass that on to my kids. He has blessed me with material possessions, i can share those with them who have none. out of money? i can give service to the church, or to my community. there is lots to be done. and to quote scripture, "the time is short."
i'm going to start putting a disclaimer on all my writing. it is ill-focused and badly presented. i write as comes to mind, with no outline or clear plan of attack (or defense). i intend at some point in the future to post a few more formal writings, but for now these free-form essays are what you get. think of it more as a rambling thought process than an argumentative or even presentatitative exposition.
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