13 January 2004 00:22
posted by request...written 7 June 2001, 9:25pm
haunted...i am haunted... no, i cannot go back. i have spent my time in the sun and now i am made to pay for my pleasure. the future stretches wearily out in front of me to the bleak horizon, a long, dreary, bleak, and deadly stretch of highyway, straight as an arrow but slow as stark terror. dusty cobwebs of pleasures-past drift across the road, clinging to my hair, my clothing, and most horribly, to my face. i claw at them, desperately seaking to tear the beastly reminders from my soul, but they wind themselves intrinsically around me, wrapping me in a tangled web of rememberances. i am haunted. what is done is done, i cannot go back. unerasable are the errors, irrevocable are the mistakes. a howling ghost screams softly in my ear, he continues pervasively, surely draining my soul of energy. i weep with terror, and endeavor to close my eyes, to hide the certain agony and toil that lie ahead. but my eyelids are immovable, so many times have i kept them open to the gold dust, now i cannot close them to the sand. i cannot close them to my future. writhing in agony, i struggle to collapse to the ground, intending to never rise again. can i spare myself the suffering coming surely my way? no! a spear of debt is thrust up my spine, rending my nerves in searing death. i am held errect, pulled by a chain, forced to staggar along this road, paved with the blood of my own labor, carefully constructed by my lack of self-discipline. i am haunted--why oh why did i do this?!
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