16 December 2004 16:52
for starters, i probably didn't have enought sleep. still don't."i am a poor wayfaring stranger while traveling through this world of woe.
yet there's no sickness toil or danger in that bright world to which i go."
emmylou harris is doing this particular version.
"i'm going there to see my father
i'm going there no more to roam
i'm only going over jordon
i'm only going over home."
my most sureal experience here to date happened a week and a half ago on sunday afternoon. my grandparents and i were visiting the pastor of waterloo, the only female pastor in jmc as it so happens. she has a rather nice house in armour heights, with a balcony/patio overlooking the city. we were peacefully chatting, enjoying punch and the sunset, when suddenly i hear marty robbins wafting up from a bar a quarter mile below and away.
"out in the west texas town of el paso, i fell in love with a mexican girl..."
in a city populated with a vast majority of blacks, where i'm used to hearing nothing but reggae or r&b, i couldn't help but feeling somewhat disjointed hearing that song. sister millie kept going about her new housekeeper, "i kenna go awey wid dat stranger in me house, alone wid me mudder. so i tell her no no, you kenna not give me dis woman, i hafta have somewon i ken trust, ye know?"
"dashing and daring a drink he was sharing, with wicked Felita the girl that i love..."
sureal.
then there's deja vu.
tonight i went to the dispersal centre's christmas party. mr. macgregor now, he tell me it a "cashual occashun." so i showed up slightly underdressed, but since i'd cleared jeans with him before hand, i enjoyed myself as the most physically comfortable person present. but yeah, when i got to the parking lot and met the girls as they were getting out of macgregor's van, what with the gowns showing backside down to the lower vertebre, i knew i was already outside my comfort zone. that fact was considerably negated by macgregor handing me his camera bag and tripod to carry into the resturante, as this gave me something to do with my hands. the short of it was that i was also promptly promoted to official photographer--which carries all sorts of benefits and perks, the first and formost of which is not having to spent two and a half hours in a (by then) uncomfortable chair trying to act insterested.
i didn't know too many people there. i knew about a third of the names, but the only three of the people there were ones i really associate with. out in the parking lot everybody was greeting me by name. even with the ones i knew, i was still figuring out with little flashes of inspiration who people were. i'm used to seeing everybody in jeans and tshirts, not suits and dresses. i'm getting better at remembering differences in features, though i'm still helplessly lost at church, but i'm still woefully inadequate at separating blacks from each other as well as i can caucasians.
but back to the deja vu
here i am, wearing jeans at a dinner party (it really wasn't that bad, the only thing more formal i have here with me is my flight uniform, which i decidedly wasn't going to wear. the only thing more formal i have at home is western, and i would have worn blue jeans then anyway :) ), a jamaican dinner party in an asian resturante with german christmas trees for decoration, watching american basketball on the tv out of the corner of my eye (what kind of formal resturant has a tv in it??), when willie nelson comes on the background music.
"maybe i didn't treat you quite as good as i should have...
little things i should have said and done, i just never took the time.
but tonight was indeed quite a mix. i got a very sharp memory pang halfway through the evening when the speech making was done and i sat down to eat. i dished out the rice and meat and greens with out much thought, but the first bite i took was of the greens, which had been steeped in some particular tea. it was actually relatively weak, but more than enough to remind me instintaniously of the cma church i went to in la. at wed night bible study they would make soup out of that tea and greens and some meat, and it was strong. much more than i could take, i had one bowlful one time and just about didn't survive. it was like the filapino equivalent of sorrel (which btw, was strong enough to sear the hide off your tonsils tonight. it's like being dosed with cough syrup four times more powerful than what you can buy over the counter. if they'd stuck any more ginger in it it would have been a slush and not a liquid. i would have drank it just for kicks, but i was afraid that it would indeed have a kick--i have enough trouble driving home with all my senses intact, much more after drinking sorrel flavoured ginger that's been spiked to numb the pain of drinking it...). back to the soup, it was worse than the sorrel (don't get me wrong, sorrel is actually pretty good, but i would add sugar, not three parts ginger to one part sorrel). well, since i started it:
sorrel is the local christmas drink (perhaps equivalent to eggnog stateside. though my favourite christmas drink was usually hotchocolate. i've never had eggnog, and can't say it sounds particuarly appealing). it's made by steeping (like tea) sorrel petals in hot water (although unlike tea, it's the flower petals, not the leaves that get steeped). it tastes vaguely like cranberry juice, until you add the fresh squeezed ginger, then it tastes like fresh squeezed ginger. although perhaps "taste" is the wrong word to use...
but i was surprised at the strength of the memory that came back from all the food i'd eaten with the filipino church. (the last time i ate in a resturante like that was at an asian resturant in garden grove with the wed night bible study group). i don't know if it was primarily the association by smell that gave the memory such strength, or if it was primarily the vast quantities of food we held repast over. at any rate, time erases the negative memories, and tonight i was instilled with an urge to see them again as i'm able. when that will be, God knows, and (ahem, let try this line, i've been practicing in front of hte mirror..) and I am content to wait his leading =).
i'd be a lot more content if people would stop asking me what i'm going to do next.
but since i do the same thing to others, i don't blame them much. much :).
but if you truly want to know, you can ask. but be prepared for a very vague answer.
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